As I painfully wait for the finishing touches on The Fight to be completed, I keep thinking about my song "True North". Partly because it is one of the only songs I currently have that is finished, but also because it has held a special place in my heart since I wrote it. The song is around two-years-old and what I love about it is that through every new step in my life it takes on a new meaning.
When I wrote the song back when I lived in Chicago, it was about the fear of moving forward and the uncertainty of what I wanted to do with my life. So, your typical 20-something fears, I suppose. But over time, from transferring schools, to the fall of a relationship, to my dad's cancer diagnosis, it has taken on a whole new shape and an even deeper meaning.
For me, I always find myself thinking about the opening lines.
I do often just want to go back and press "repeat", to have a second chance at a moment that I probably messed up. But I also just want to go back and have a chance to appreciate things more. I think through the adversity that my family has faced over the last year I learned a lot about what really is important in life. When you hit hard times you find out who will be there for you, what really matters to you, and what is worth fighting for.
You realize that you probably wasted a lot of time in the past on dumb things that you didn't really need. There are times we are so focused on doing what we think is 'right' that we completely mess everything up for ourselves. We do things like hold grudges for fights we don't even remember, we surround ourselves with people we know we don't even like, and we focus on the short-term, material things in life instead of the lasting impact we can have.
Right now, that is what "True North" and my never-ending search for it is. It's giving a little bit more weight to my heart and soul and following my gut when times get tough. We already know the way we need to go, it's just a matter of getting our brain to quiet long enough to hear ourselves say it. We need to go the way that is meaningful and authentic, and I will never tire searching for my own version of that. I encourage you to do the same.
Keep on keeping on.